Retraction

Contrary to my last post I may in fact begin posting once again. I have been thinking about writing for the school paper. The problem with that is that the paper is not really a forum for thought, discussion or anything besides ad hominem attacks from two polemicized extremes. But hey, loud extremes sell a lot better than uncategorized and confused ramblings. Anyway, while I'm deciding and building up courage I may post some attempts here. Mind you they may be very much incomprehensible and specific to my school's culture, but I'll do what I can.

I suspect I'll never post anything interesting ever again.

My Life

I play a lot of World of Warcraft.
I'm trying to learn how to play the banjo.
I close 6 nights a week.

If anyone is interested in playing WoW, playing in a jug band (that will cover weezer, red hot chili peppers, nintendo themes and whatever else strikes our fancy) or giving me more hours at work then let me know.

Close Encounter

There I was, standing behind the counter at work when a man came up to the register. His graying crew cut and worn expression had me reaching for the AAA discount button. My eyes were drawn to the red and white stripes cascading across his T-shirt, white stars on a blue patch shining from the light reflected off the sneeze guard. Possibly a military discount. Then the words "God Bless America" leaped from his faded cotton blend and landed on the register somewhere near the coupon discount button. Ah yes, it was a Sunday afternoon.

"Hello can I get you something to drink?" I asked in the most cheerful tone I could muster.

"Just a couple of waters."

His vagary irked me.

"There you go, let me ring that up for you." At least I didn't have to deal with his shock when he realized a fountain drink is $1.50.

"Your name is Micah?" He commented, having read my name tag.

"It sure is."

"That's a biblical name" He drew from his veritable wellspring of knowledge.

"It sure is."

"Intentional?"

"Sentence fragment, does not compute" I thought. The words, "It sure was" came out.

"Christian?" He tenatively offered.

"Yup" I responded, hands full of ice water, head full of snarky remarks.

I could see the relief wash over his face as I provided him with a veritable Constantinian respite from persecution. His Caesar salad would not be Diocletian (though I would wager that he split it with someone). His Strawberry Fields Salad would not be soured by the blood of innocent martyrs rising up to share in his trials. No, he was safe. Even more, he was a member of an exclusive club. He had performed the ritual handshake. He had seen my nametag as a line in the sand and raised me the rest of the fish. Now he could visualize what the Souplantation would look like "in case of Rapture." One neatly folded pile of clothes behind the register, green striped apron laid delicately across dirty black pants and white polo shirt, green baseball cap crowning the whole outfit.

As I waited for his debit card receipt to print out I tried to think of what I would say if he sealed the deal with a "God bless you." I thought that maybe I would try to conjure up a sneeze and unleash it at the right moment, diverting his parting comment from benediction to common courtesy. But no need, he merely accepted his receipt, grabbed his tray, and ambled past the "please wait to be seated" sign to a nearby booth.

I closed the register drawer and quickly glanced at the stick-on nametag left on a leafy green Hawaiian shirt. My next customer was John.

Work

Now that I have a job I'll be able to write about especially delightful encounters with customers. We'll see if I actually bother to post anything.

Good Book, Bad Book

Good Book

Bad Book

An Extraordinarily Long Post

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As some of you may know I’ve been spending my Sunday mornings at Saint Athanasius Antiochian Orthodox Church. As others of you did not know, I have been spending my Sunday mornings at Saint Athanasius Antiochian Orthodox Church. In order to quell fears about my salvation and to help myself figure out why I have been attending said church I will try to respond to the burning questions that none of you have.

Q: That church name is quite a mouthful, what the heck does it mean?

A: Beats me. But I can try to explain all the different parts. St. Athanasius was the Bishop of Alexandria in the early 4^th Century C.E. He was instrumental in defining the doctrine of the dual nature of Christ and defending it against the Arian heresy. So why is the church named after him? Every Orthodox Church has a patron Saint and is named after its particular Saint. I’m not sure why Athanasius is the patron of this particular church, but hey, he’s a pretty cool Saint to have. As for the Antiochian part, Orthodox churches fall under the authority of different hierarchics, which are often geographically located. This is where we get Greek Orthodox, Syrian Orthodox, Russian Orthodox etc. Historically, the Orthodox Church has been quite adept at adopting and appealing to a wide range of cultures, however once they get settled in they don’t like to change, and tend to become identified with an ethnicity more than a faith. This particular church falls under the authority of the patriarch of Antioch, in modern day Turkey, which was a center of Christianity in the first century.

Q: That’s all very interesting, but what the heck is an Orthodox Church?

A: Good question, I don’t really know. The Orthodox Church split with Rome in 1054 for reasons I’m sure you don’t care about or you already know. Ever since then the Church hasn’t changed much, since they couldn’t call a council in Rome. Since it has changed so little, the Orthodox Church prides itself on being the original faith of the Apostles (which is a load of bunk in my opinion). As far as weekly practice and structure the closest thing to Orthodoxy is Catholicism, but even that is not very close (Mass is finished in a tight 45 minutes, whereas the Divine Liturgy takes 2 hours). The Orthodox Church developed under a different set of circumstances and so has developed different traditions. If you want to know what happens every week then here is the Divine Liturgy of John Chrysostom.

Q: So why should I think you’re going to hell?

A: Well for a number of reasons, but as related to where I’ve been going to church? Let me list a few. Orthodox churches use icons and incense in worship; bless the Virgin Mary (Theotokos- God Bearer); don’t believe in original sin; believe the body and blood of Christ are present in Communion; have priests who wear robes and should have beards (since God knows every hair on your head, including your face, and to shave would be to try to hide something from God like Adam did in the Garden) and other theological points that the average bear doesn’t really notice or care about.

Q: Why did you start going to this place?

A: I started going to St. Athanasius because I was getting fed up with the particular brand of Christianity I had been surrounded with all my life and needed to see a different side of Christianity so that I didn’t become resentful about the entire Church and become a hermit or something. I had been to Mass before and I had too many biases in my head to try Catholicism. I didn’t know anything about Orthodoxy, so I thought I would give it a try. I decided that I would attend St. Athanasius until I was somewhat comfortable with it and could reasonably weigh the pros and cons so that I wouldn’t decide after a week that it was the only true church or that it was all hogwash. I went one Sunday and was impressed; I went another Sunday and noticed more. I kept going and even though I was often itching to get out by the end of the service, I found myself humming sections of the Liturgy all week (96% of the Divine Liturgy is sung) and itching to go back by the time Sunday rolled around.

Q: Are you going become Orthodox or something?

A: Heck no. I can’t see myself becoming Orthodox for several reasons. First of all, while I love what the Orthodox view of Communion does for the practice of Communion, I can’t buy the fact that when Jesus said, “this is my blood” he meant, “this is the same substance that is flowing through my veins as I speak to you.” Second, I can’t accept the idea of the intercession of Saints. I think Saints are great, I think the Protestant Church has lost a great deal when we fail to remember and exemplify Saints. But the idea that Saints are right now, interceding with Christ is inconsistent with what I believe to be the biblical view of the time between death and resurrection. The last important reason is that I can’t be part of a church that refuses to change and has doctrinal statements that hold that non-Orthodox are in less than full fellowship with God and other believers.

Q: Then why are you still going to St. Athanasius?

A: Contrary to any doctrinal statements St. Athanasius is the most warm and welcoming community I have ever been associated with. Within the second week of going to St. Athanasius I was known by name by half a dozen members of the congregation and was having to turn down countless invitations for dinner, lunch, Hawaiian vacations etc. Since then I have been to the homes of several members of the congregation and have been amazed that they are the same people at home, as they are in the church parking lot. Their religion pervades every part of their lives; even in the way they decorate their homes. As many Protestant churches as I have been to that claim to be open to everybody, I have never felt as accepted as I have at St. Athanasius, where members are supposed to view me as in broken fellowship.

Q: So what are you going to do now?

A: I don’t know. I can’t see myself becoming Orthodox and yet I can’t tear myself away from the community I have come to admire so deeply. It seems silly to attend a church that I know I’ll never join, and I’m missing out on the Sacrament of Communion, but then I want to say that since I’m in college and can’t settle down, I can just enjoy going wherever I please. But once again, why should I be attending a church I won’t join when I could be going somewhere that I might stay? For now, I continue to wake up every Sunday and make the trek out to St. Athanasius, each week coming to know the community better, knowing that on a fundamental level we simply cannot agree. I have never felt the pangs of the fragmented Church so deeply.

Three Cheers for Chapel

I don't have anything meaningful to say in this post, I'm just posting so that my site will stay active in case I ever have anything meaningful to say.
I did notice something new in chapel today, I've never heard a male echo part in a contemporary worship song. Males don't echo, that's the job of women. We males have to lead women and make sure they say the right thing, then they can just echo us.
Speaking of which, I'm a horrible, cynical excuse for a human being. I've gotten into a delightful pattern of spending every "worship time" analyzing the songs, the singer, the people around me and anything else that I can do to keep myself feeling morally and religiously superior. I've developed an uncanny ability to predict when the people in front of me will raise their hands, which always puts a self satisfied grin on my face. Hopefully this is a phase, and at least I know that I shouldn't be doing it. Similar experiences? Any conclusions or solutions reached?